dreaded rite of passage is looming in our very NEAR future! Although we have been through this FOUR times already, some smoother than others, I wanted to get some tips and pointers from my readers.
Considering the many different theories out there, I thought it would be fun for you to share what has worked with your kids and even what has NOT worked. That way we can learn and grow from one another. What might work for one child (or family) may not work for another. And maybe others who read this will find something that will be perfect for them to try.
**Edit–A reader left a comment asking for tips for potty training a child with special needs. I thought it was a great question and recognize that some of you may have helpful tips for her and that more of my readers will also have concerns similar to hers. Here is her comment: “Any potty training tips for children with special needs? My son is a high-functioning child with autism, but he doesn’t understand “if, then” statements, like “if you go to the potty, then you will get a treat.” He also doesn’t seem to care about sitting in his dirty diapers. He is almost 3 and I feel if we don’t start soon, he’ll be 10 before he’s trained!”
And…the person who comes up with the best idea will win an all expense trip to my house…to potty train my daughter. HeHe! Sound good?! (I wish I could…that would be fun…for me!)
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Samantha says
from experience… pull ups DO NOT WORK! Each kid just thought it was a diaper, and my kids were not opposed to sitting in "it"… What worked for me with my son was a little tought love… I was pregnant with my second daughter and was so, so tired of changing underpants and clothes… Basically, i let him sit in it till he really really wanted me to change him. It took two times and he was trained!
Good luck. That is by far the worst and one of the hardest lessons we have to teach these kids!
I agree with the pull ups. Our pediatrician told us that if your child is a disposable diaper child then you need to go to cotton panties, if they are cloth diaper babies then the pull ups might work. It needs to feel different for them. We tried the rewards system of stickers, candies, toys, money. Nothing! My daughter is just a stubborn little thing so the only thing we could do was wait for her to be ready. Lots of positive reinforcement helped with her. Lots of calling the Grandma's to tell them about her success. That was her favorite. Good luck! -Kelsee
Endless patience, time and energy. I have got four of my own plus minded and nannied children potty trained. I decided when the time was right with reading books the week before and then introducing the idea. Older siblings can help by leading the way.
Then its basic what goes in has to come out so it was vast quanities of their favourite drink in unlimited supply ( not so much food was eaten for a couple of days as full of fluid)
I did not bother with pants until they new what was happening then once that was mastered varied from 1-3 days pants went on fluid went down food went up number twos followed naturally. We also made a great big thing of waving bye bye to the wee. And I am afraid I did also use edible treats that were not normally allowed whenever.
Hope I win as I would love an all expenses paid trip to your house. Oh did I mention I am in UK lol I wont hold you to that one.
Happy potty Training
I am right in the midst of my first time potty training.
I bought a seat that sits on the "big person's" toilet and Isabel absolutely refused to go. She would hold it in ALL day and then have accidents all over the place. Then Grandma bought her a simple plastic potty that Isabel could sit on whenever she decided.
I was busy a couple of days ago and she was doing her usual I need to pee dance and I said to her that she "needs to sit on that potty until she's done a pee pee and don't get up until you do". Wonder of wonders, she did it!! We are now just going through the motions of practicing and getting it right ALL the time.
Pull ups didn't work for us and having her own little potty worked. And maybe a cranky mummy!
i would sit the little potty in front of the tv and put my naked kid on there drinking juice.
at some point they peed and we made a big deal of it. both of my boys were 2 yrs 8 months when i did this and they were trained with in weeks.
not sure if it was me or the tv overload…
Wait until she begs to be out of nappies. She will get to the stage where she demand to use the toilet, and refuses to ware nappies. Wait until then and save your sanity
I have no revolutionary advice so I'll just tell you what we did with our 3.
A friend told me when I thought about potty training our first son that the best advice she could give me was to wait until HE WAS READY. So I did.
He decided on a road trip when he was 3 years and 2 months old that he was ready to go on a big boy potty. SO, we stopped at a gas station (yuck).. and he went for the very first time, and he's been potty trained ever since. He's 10 now. :) no accidents ever.
I did the same thing with our second son..he was a little over 3 when he was ready, too. However, he had many #2 accidents for a couple of years. I have no idea why except that the #2 thing really freaked him out. Finally, after a couple of years, he stopped having accidents. It was always the #2 thing.
Our little girl decided when she was about 2 1/2 to go to the potty, and she's only had 1 accident in the 7 months since then.
So, if I have any advice to offer…each kid is different so don't compare them to each other. And, in my experience, girls are easier than boys to potty train.
Go Diaper/pull-up free. Expect accidents, but don't make a big deal of them. Put your kiddo on a potty seat with juice and read them books or let them watch a show. Check out potty books and let them see you going!
We JUST got J potty trained. I live in Ft. Wayne, home of DeBrand Chocolates. We promised her a trip to the "chocolate store" and talked about it non-stop for days and days. We didn't push her at all. One day she just said that she wanted to go potty on the big-girl potty. Needless to say, we were at DeBrand that night! Just this week we got her to go on the big potty (she was using a little seat that sits on the floor). She was scared of the big potty but was too big for her little chair. All it took was a little overflow on the little chair to convince her that the big potty was ok. Good luck!!! Keep us posted :o)
we had our son potty trained months ago (as far as being able to go on the potty). He was clearly not ready to do it though, he was still way too in to diapers! we decided to not push the issue and now at 38 months he decided one day that he was and we haven't looked back since. Rarely an accident, and it was nearly "issue" free.
We just finished potty training our third child. A mommy mentor told me when my oldest was almost 2 and I was fretting about getting started that I could either spend a year banging my head against the wall, cleaning up accidents or I could spend a week doing the same if I would just be patient. So patience won.
We have both kinds of potties and have let the kids choose which they like (the seat for the toilet vs. little potty). We read lots and lots of potty books in the week before potty day. Then it was allowing him to be mostly naked for a few days while he figured it out. We did let him have marshmallows when he went at first and gradually just "forgot" them.
It also helps to really know your child's habits. We struggled getting our youngest to poo in the potty til I kept him up a little longer before nap til I knew he needed to go. A few days of this and it was a normal thing, not so scary! Good luck!
the only thing that was successful for me, twice, was waiting until they were dry at night. It happened both time at around 2 1/2 almost three. After that, the whole thing was so easy. We have been potty training for two weeks with two pee pee accidents, no poop accidents. Pull ups do not work, but another method that kinda works but takes a little longer is t let them run around with no undies on and take them potty every two hours or so until they gain better bladder control. Then you go longer and longer until they just start telling you they need to go. Good luck, I have decided it is one of the worst parts of raising a kid. Not fun.
It is my opinion, that kids do better when it is their idea. This seems to only apply to potty training and getting their driving permit though :) That way you know they are both emotionally and physically ready. I have trained four, and the only one I had any trouble, or accidents with was the first one, because I pushed too hard, and he just wasn't ready. Books help too, read a book about using the potty until it is memorized by every member of the family!
A friend of a friend made a map/game thing that they hung on the fridge at their level. It was like a path I think, and the kids got to color in the next star each time they went on the potty with no beginning or ending accidents (peeing early, or not going enough and then peeing a few minutes later). Once they got through a certain number of stars, they got a prize or to go somewhere. She had prizes already bought that she knew they would love, or they got right in the car to go get ice cream etc. She said that was the key for her kids…to have the prizes right there to give them.
I don't know from first hand experience though because my son is only 10 months. 2 more years of diapers doesn't sound fun though, so I'm taking note of all these tips!
Have to agree with others – wait until they are ready. My kids were almost 3-1/2 and I know that's old for some but when it came time, pt'ing was done in a week or so. When I tried to initiate it myself, it became a nightmare and no one was happy. Be flexible, be patient and remember no child goes to college in diapers :) PS: We made Sandy's cake the other night – yummy!
When my son was almost 2 1/2, we had been working on potty training for a while and he had proved to me that he was completely capable. However, he got lazy, and decided that he didn't want to anymore. So, I got really frustrated with all the puddles, and I said, "Fine. Do you just want to wear a diaper?" and he said, "YEAH!" So i put a diaper on him, and then proceeded to take away all the "big boy toys" like trucks and puzzles and blocks. I told him that babies don't play with these things. He had to take two naps, because he was a baby. When he asked to do something special, like watch a video or help me make muffins, I said, "no, not today. Babies can't do that." It was a miserable day, but the next day he wore underpants and never looked back (literally NO accidents after that). It was rough, but it got the point across. :-)
We have used the cotton underwear with the plastic diaper covers to reduce messes. It feels different than diapers, but I don't have such a big mess if there is an accident.
Ok…first I HATE POTTY TRAINING! If I could give up one thing of motherhood…THAT would be it. I do not like pull ups when we are HOME. Undies are the way to go. That way I am more responsible with reminding them to go. However, I do like them for when we go out & about.
With my oldest, we rewarded him with quarters. He did really well & came out $70.00 richer.
With my second, I did 1 M&M & he loved it. It took him a little longer, but he is REALLY stubborn.
When I first stared potty training my daughter, we used pull ups. They didn't work at all.
One day after Christmas, I saw some advent calendars on sale. Not the kind with candy. These had little toys inside. I bought 3 kinds. My Little Pony, Littlest Pet Shop and Barbie.
That weekend we didn't go anywhere. We stayed at home and my daughter ran around without pull ups or panties. Each time she used the potty, she got to open a day on the calendar. (2 days if she poo'd)
By the end of the weekend, she was totally potty trained, and I was constantly stepping on little toys!
Good Luck!!
& 1 more thing to add…the praise. When they went potty we called EVERYONE! Daddy, Memaw, Grandpa…anyone who would listen & be excited. They loved that part of it. We would get so excited & sing "pee pee in the potty" & so on. They loved to sing & dance..so they liked to go on the potty more.
The one and only thing that worked for us, was this. We took them to the store and let them pick out ANY ice cream they wanted as well as any small piece candy they wanted…like M&M's, Skittles, ect. If they peed in the potty, 1 small candy, they could choose. If they poo'd, in the potty of course, they could have ice cream!!!
Sticker didn't work, charts didn't work, nothing else did. I just PT'd #4.
I agree with the other commenters, don't use pull-ups. My mom got my 2 1/2 year old a candy machine so when she goes potty, she gets to put a penny in the machine and get candy. My daughter also started preschool recently and they are very diligent about pottying so that has helped as well.
With my son, I put him in long denim pants – yup, lots of laundry, but jeans are not fun to be in wet, at all. I had tried everything I could think of prior to this, all the advice people gave me, and none of it worked until he was uncomfortable. Did the same thing with my two girls. None of them would register until it left them uncomfortable. Then, while changing their clothes (again) we would talk about how if they would go in the potty, they wouldn't have this feeling of being so uncomfortable. After a day or two of tons of laundry, things started to click, faster for some than others.
Good luck!!!
I was getting to the end of my rope trying to attempt to potty train my daughter. Tried every trick in the book. Then during her annual (4th) physical, the Dr said quite plainly, "No more diapers." She heard the Dr say it and next day I told her the Dr said no more diapers and you have to wear underwear now and within hours was going on the potty and no accidents. This won't be much help since my daughter decided to wait soooo long to get potty trained, but she needed to hear it from someone else and it worked.
Any potty training tips for children with special needs? My son is a high-functioning child with autism, but he doesn't understand "if, then" statements, like "if you go to the potty, then you will get a treat." He also doesn't seem to care about sitting in his dirty diapers. He is almost 3 and I feel if we don't start soon, he'll be 10 before he's trained!
My husband potty trained our 4th (and youngest) baby in record time. It still amazes me. When I was out of town and the others were in school, they went to Babies R Us to pick out Josh's special potty…and then Mike (my husband) talked it up ALL day. Nothing more. On Day #2, Josh KNEW he was being potty trained and he was all over it. We went cold turkey, but we made sure to devote a full day to talking about it constantly.
The other genius thing my husband did is place the potty in our TV/family room. Kind of gross, but Josh didn't want to miss out on being a part of the fun! Having the potty there gave him the freedom to sit on it for a while, and still be a part of the family. That helped tremendously, I think, and within 2 weeks, we moved the little potty's back to the bathroom!
Good luck!
The biggest help is to wait until you see signs that they are really ready. Buy special underwear that she loves. Plan for a time when you have 2-3 days where you don't have to go anywhere. Take off pants and diaper (ok to keep on socks) no new undies yet, keep them someplace with an easily washable floor. Then flood them with liquids! Stay with them. Yes, you can have a popsicle for breakfast! Yes, you may have more (insert some liquid that she loves here). This gives them lots of chances to practice and see what happens when they get "that" feeling. We used stickers as rewards, but I've also heard about good luck with M & M candies. After the first day we could usually change to wearing just undies. Don't put on more clothes yet, as you want lots of success and clothes are hard to get off quick. Good luck!
My second daughter had a fear of the #2 also and my Pediatrician who is freaking awesome said that many kids have a fear of the feeling of it dropping away from their bums since they are so used to have it right there all the time in their diapers!! We used the who Pee on the cheerios thing (easier with boys than girls) but that made it kinda fun for her to throw cheerios in before she went! Then one day a girlfriend of mine said she got one of those dolls that pee and put it on her little girls potty to show her that even her dollies used the potty and that worked too!! Good luck
I just got done pt'ing my first at 2 1/2yrs. I tried a few months ago, but he just didn't care about it. When he was ready, he knew it and I knew it! We put the trainer underwear on, and didn't look back! Yep, not for bed and not even for our 3 hours of church..I just went in or asked him every 30 min or so. Eventually he started to tell me and now, he just runs in and strips down and climbs up himself. At first I did give him a piece of candy. A dum dum, or a piece of licorice..eventually he stopped asking and I didn't offer. It has been fabulous. I think they have to be able to verbally tell you first, and if you start..then put them back in a diaper every now and then, it confuses them. Mom said when i was little and she put the diaper back on me, i was offended & figured she didn't trust me, so I gave up trying. So, I just haven't put it back on my son at all. He still has never wet the bed-and he still sleeps with his sippy. When they're ready, they're ready. And you'll know it!
I agree, pull ups are no good. We're actually going to officially start potty training tomorrow (my daughter will be 3 at the end of March). She goes on the potty really well, whenever she feels like it, but that's the problem! I promised her some Dora big girl undies and told her tomorrow, pull ups are only for night time. I plan on asking her every 15min if she needs to potty until she does it on her own, lol. We'll see!
My oldest daughter was easy. She had an accident in front of some older cousins, while potty training, and as bad as it makes me feel, the embaresment worked.
I never did the treats after going potty, b/c I thought it would be hard to train them out of that when they were officially potty trained!
first of all save yourself some heart ache and make sure your child is honestly ready for this and that it is just not you who is ready. I realized this with my own son. I tried to early and it was terrible. I waited a few more months and tried again and he got it in a couple of days and has never wet his bed. It also helped that I took him to hte store and he got to pick out his potty seat.
My son didn't want anything to do with the toilet. He was almost 5 before he got potty trained. We tried to not make a big deal of it, but we encouraged him to use the potty, talked about the potty, did the pullups. Nothing worked.
We had the 5 and 3 year old in pullups. Got to the point that we made them change their pullup if they peed. Thought that may give them some responsibilty and make them want to start using the potty rather than change themselves. Nope, they didn't mind.
Finally we just said that May 1st, they were no more diapers for them. We let them know each day how much longer until no diapers. No surprises for them. It came, diapers went. I HATED it. Everytime they peed and it went on the floor I had to take a deep breath, act calm, deal with it happily. It took my son 2 days to get it and my daughter 4.
When you are in the middle of it, it feels like forever. But when they catch on, it feels like freedom. As much as I hated the accidents and cleaning the floor, it was worth the 4 days to no longer have to change diapers on them.
My 3 year old wanted nothing to do with it until the 5 year old did. Then she was all for it.
I'm hoping that when the new baby gets to that point she will be more willing to try since her brother and sister do.
Oh, and forgot to mention that we made a big deal of it when they went. They got a prize when they used the potty. I went to the dollar store and got sticker sheets and cut them up in to sections. Got packages of toys. Prizes were about .10 cent value each.
My son is special needs. The only way I got him trained was to make him clean himself up after a dirty diaper. Harsh I know but I had tried everything else in the arsenal. I was afraid I was going to have a Kindergartner in diapers. Since he has a strong gag reflex, he quickly understood that putting the poop in the potty instead of his diaper was much preferred over having to clean up after he'd used a diaper. Now if I could just come up with a miracle for nighttime dryness, life would be perfect! We're giving it time but he's almost 9. I wish you both much luck.
I have a son who is also high functioning autistic. And potty training was HARD, to put it nicely. He was finally potty trained about a month or two before kindergarten. He was so very afraid of the toilet. We started training him about 3 1/2 yrs and it was mostly tears (his and mine). I would definitely do things differently so it wouldn't be so much of a battle. But I also wonder if it wasn't a battle would he have been potty trained for school? But I would (for any kid) wait until they are ready. Always bringing up the subject and REWARD when they do. Everyone potty trains some day, right. There aren't many 10yr olds still not potty trained… Like others said, it is VERY hard in the moment. If you knew ok, my child will be trained in one week, one month (even one year) you could handle it better. But it WILL be over and they will get past this phase and you might even survive! ;) GOOD LUCK!
This post is quite timely for me, and I'm glad to be able to read all of the comments. My daughter is 34 months old and we're on Day 7 of potty training.
Pullups are a complete waste of money. If your kid is used to disposable diapers they look and feel just about the same so expecting them to potty train while still essentially wearing a diaper is useless. We tried the pullups thing when I was more ready than she was (about 6 months ago) and it was a no go. This time around she approached me and told me she wanted to use the potty and wear underwear. (Probably helped that my mother-in-law got her some Tinkerbell underwear as a gift and she knew it was sitting in her drawer.)
We haven't had any pee accidents (except when she came in from outside and couldn't get her snowsuit off fast enough :(
Number 2, however, is a different animal altogether. Wish there was more advice in the comments here on how to help them get through the whole pooping on the potty thing.
Good luck! It's no fun, but it can't last forever, right?
I also found pull-up not very helpful. The otehr thing I never thought off was that older siblings can also contribute to them reverting. It's great to get the whole family invovled but you also have to make sure that older sister isn't being pushy and constantly asking if they have to go etc. Maybe for the special needs: try hanging a candy or matchbox car from the ceiling over the potty and teaching if he goes pee or even poop you can help him reach up and "win" the prize! Hope it helps, good luck to all!
Potty training little girls can be great because of dresses! I had my oldest potty trained by her 2nd b-day and my youngest just turned two and is doing great with her training. I leave them bare under there! Only a few times of peeing down there leg and they get it and since they are in dresses most of the time I don't even know they went on the potty until they are in the standing in the door of the bathroom yelling for a candy reward. I think since they are without underwear or pull ups under their dress they can feel the air and they are just a little more aware of what is going on down there. Good luck!
I am currently in the process. I am trying EVERYTHING, but the thing that seems to be working the best is movies and books on potty training (for my daughter). I checked out a TON of them from our library. Our library also has something called a literacy kit, it's a bag full of info, books, movies and other stuff on different subjects. I checked out our libraries potty training one, and it has a doll in it that has a little potty and she pees! May the force be with you!
A lot of people say that pull-ups "don't work," but I have found them to be a perfect transition tool from diapers to underwear. My son is ready to be done with diapers, but when I had him in underwear all the time he just had too many accidents, particularly of the poop variety. I can't stand cleaning those up, so pull-ups work great for us. He can pull them down by himself when he's ready to go, and if he does have an accident, it's not a stressful mess. There was a little while where he treated them like a diaper most of the time, but now he tells me when he has an accident in them and I know he feels badly about it. To me, it's worth saving our relationship and the peace in our home, even if it takes a bit longer. I tried going right to underwear (after being naked for a while), and even with rewards like toys, stickers, treats, he still wasn't trained after weeks. So pull-ups are fine for us, and he's making good progress.
Several of my friends have sucessfully used the Two Day potty training book. It is a book, but I'm not sure by whom.
with my daughter, again, pull ups did not work, they were too convenient. We had to go "nakie" or with panties, or she didn't get it. We trained her at two and it worked, but our daycare messed it all up by forcing her back into pull ups if she had an accident (we were at a home based daycare and the lady didn't want to "deal" with accidents.) anyway, I was expecting and knew we'd be taking her out of that daycare in a few months, so I waited. When she was two and a half it took one more weekend of panties and being reminded to go every couple of hours, and she was good to go!
However, she is a very deep sleeper, and still had accidents at nap time, and we have yet to get her to go through the night and stay dry… and she's four and a half. so, that's our next battle.
good luck!
We were almost pt'd right before he turned 3 (dec 23), then he decided he didn't want to go to the potty anymore. So basically I started over after the holidays.
He only wears pullups for sleeping (because he sleeps with me & i don't want an accident in my bed) and cotton underwear the rest of the time. He normally wakes up dry.
He thought his little potty was cool but didn't use it much. We now have Magnolia Progressions Slow Close Combo Adult/Juvenile Toilet Seats in all our bathrooms & I use a 60 minute kitchen timer. When the timer goes off, we go potty.
His problem is he doesn't want to stop playing to go potty, so the timer is a reminder to stop what you are doing & take a potty break.
So far it has worked great & we rarely have had an accident since the first of the year!
Good luck Mommas (& Daddies)!
My best tip – I waited until I knew we were both ready. My daughter was almost 30 months by the time we started but she was also (mostly) trained within three days.
My second best tip is to not ask if she needs to go to the potty. She'll say No every.single.time. For whatever the reason if I say "tell mom when you need to go" or "should we try to use the potty" then she will respond with the appropriate answer.
My third favorite tip is to keep a potty in the car. In the beginning big toilets without the little seat can seem pretty scary (never mind gross and dirty). My daughter wouldn't go in a public bathroom for the first two months but would hold it and go in the potty in my car with no issue.
I decided early on I did not want to do pull ups. I started discussing it with her about a week, maybe two weeks prior. Everyday I asked, "Would you like to wear big girl underpants?" and occasionally I'd try them on her. She usually hated them and cried a little when I put them on so I'd take them right off again. Then one day she didn't cry and seemed excited at the idea. We made a big production out of throwing away her remaining diapers and she's been in underpants since that moment.
We didn't leave the house for the first three (five?) days and I learned quickly I couldn't leave her side. I didn't have her wear pants, just underpants. If she started having an accident I scooped her up and ran her to the potty. She had two accidents the first morning and after that it seemed like it clicked.
I used stickers as rewards…she doesn't like candy! Also, I never used a little potty. I have potty seats on the toilets and a stool for her to stand on. I doubt that made a lot of difference but it was sure a lot nicer for me.
I just potty trained my 3 year old twin boys. They both only had 5 accidents and were potty trained within a week. I don't think that I necessarily did anything right, I just think they were ready. I didn't push them at all and we went with a laid back approach and after the first time going they were telling me when they needed to go. I think it's just important to not push them.
My grandmother was the nanny for most of the kids in my family. Her method was to put the kids on the potty as soon as they began walking. So right around 1 yrs they all hit the potty. She would let them roam around the house close to naked and after each meal or nap she would put them on. She kept the potty in the main room of the house so it was always available.
So when I had my son, I followed suit. At first he cried each time, so we took a break from the potty for a couple of months, then started again. He was fully trained at 16 months. Rewards and congratulations were big for him.
I'm now prego again and only wish it will be just as easy the 2nd time around.
Great post! I find most people do the opposite of what I did. But what I did worked for me.
Nothing
That is what I did. I went out and bought a potty when I though Jacob was ready. He used it some times, and other times he didn't. I didn't stress. Then one day he saw Ryan standing and ever since he was trained. He'll even go outside standing if I don't catch him.
What I found didn't work – discipline. Children no matter how intelligent they are shouldn't be disciplined for things out of their control, even if they know what they did was wrong.
I have found that pull ups don't work. I have also found that once you commit to potty train you can't go back to diapers not even to go to town. I put a plastic sheet on each of my children's beds too, so that at nighttime they wouldn't have to wear diapers either.
I have also found that as soon as you are ready to potty train then you will have to take your child every hour, I would recommend setting a timer so that your child knows that it is time to go potty when he hears the timer ring.
Consistency is the biggest part of potty training. After your child knows what if "feels" like to go potty every hour they will love the "clean" feeling and eventually catch on.
I had my daughter potty trained at 22 months and my son potty trained at 25 months. This is the method we used!! Good luck and don't give up. Just remind yourself and your child that "I can do hard things"!!
My Sister did this with her little girl, she asked me and my sisters to pretend to be a Disney Princess, anyone that she felt like calling that paticular day, she would call our houses and tell us all about her potty training adventures and we would praise her if she was doing good or tell her what she needed to do. Of course I had to disguise our voices. I think it worked really well. For boys you could have someone pretend to be a super hero or their favorite character. I used potty books and stickers for my little girl. Cherrios in the toilet for the boys, something fun to shoot at. Hope these ideas help.
I loosely followed some Dr. Phil advice. I let her run around in just her new princess panties, which she loved. I gave her lots of drinks. I would take her to the potty about every 5 or 10 minutes until her first few successes. Getting that first success was a big deal. We had a big celebration with treats and phone calls to tell Princess Belle (a relative pretending) all about it. We continued with getting stickers for successes for a while.
She had some accidents for sure, but was trained in about a week. Not a very fun week, though. It's been several months and now I'm just working on getting her to actually go into the bathroom without making me come with her. Any ideas there?
My easiest kid to potty train was my youngest. He'd just turned 2 and my oldest son was out of school. He walked past my baby and said "dude, I wanna show you something!" The two of them went into the bathroom and I'm not sure what transpired. A lot of giggles, exclamations and (thank goodness) handwashing. And the boy has been trained ever since. Seriously, never an accident in 4 years!
The girls, however? Ugh.
What a timely post! I am about to start toilet training again (3rd time) with my daughter. She has resisted the last two times. Pullups have not worked. I am going to be trying out the suggestions given.
I wanted to add that for children with special needs (and especially kids with autism) they need a lot of repetition. I would recommend creating a social story or taking books out of the library and reading them over and over again. Also be aware of the sensory needs your child has. If they can't handle noises, make that bathroom quiet and do not flush the toilet until they have left. Make a schedule and keep to it. They need the structure. These are things that I have done with students in the past. Definitely harder to toilet train when you have an emotional tie. ie my own child. Good Luck!
Not really a tip but a suggestion I have from when I trained my two year old is once you start training only use panties. Even if they are having accident after accident don't go back to diapers. My daughter seemed to understand it better when she realized she had accidents and could see what was supposed to happen
I just potty trained my fourth child and it went pretty well. We waited until he was interested…I am not sure if they are ever ready. We heard about the potty watch by potty time and tried it. I think it is a GREAT idea! It did not work for us because he wouldn't keep it on, but I know it worked for a friend of mine. I just left him naked for a few days and he would run in and go rather than go on the floor. Lots of praise and we came up with a reward that he really wants so he was extra motivated. Good Luck!
1. i never bought the first pull up, those seemed like diapers to me.
2. make them drink…kind of like practice makes perfect!
3. rewards worked for us and CONSISTENCY!
i cannot stress the consistency part strong enough!
I read this old 70's or 80's book from the library called "Potty training in one day" They used their techniques on handicapped children and adults. My favorite technique they used was getting a potty doll and showing the child through the example of the doll:
1. water
2. sit on potty
3. pee in potty
4. get a treat
then use the same pattern on the child.
my best friends son is high functioning autistic as well and she struggled with potty training, one day she just gave up on it, he was older…I can't remember between 3 and 4 and one day he just decided to do it, she said for him it just clicked one day after she stopped trying to get him to do it.
I think it's important to introduce and the let the child get it, when they get it.
I'm potty training right now too. I'm just doing it…I hate potty training, it's the worst parental experience thus far I believe.
my daughter has been in undies for 4 days and has had 4 accidents (none yesterday! yay) but she pooped at her sisters class today…that sucked. luckily I had spare undies and pants.
One helpful thing I learned from my Mom was to leet the kid sit on the toilet backwards. Many advantages: no special kids seat required, they can climb up by themselves, they don't feel like they are going to fall in, they can "watch" what is going on down there, etc. Both of my kids did well with this approach. Other things I did were to allow them to see me or siblings going, put them in underwear and put them on the potty frequently (but not leave them there for too long or they start to resent it), and be firm/ matter-of-fact/but pleasant and possibly even distracting. I made it more of a habit rather than waiting for them to tell me. Obviously there will be plenty of accidents, but they figure it out pretty quickly.
I too have a child with a Autusim spectrum disorder and he is almost 4. Really, I waiting until he wanted to sit on the potty. First, we practiced sitting on the potty only 1 time a day…for a week or something. After that time, we practiced sitting 2 times and so forth. We kept practicing until he actually did something, and we made the happiest party right there in the bathroom. The whole family was involved. Starting was the hardest, keeping my cool when we have accidents is hard also, cause in my mind I think that he should have it by now. My child is non verbal and so I have to take the initiative to take him. For going poo, we didn't have any success with that until this last month. He fianlly started pushing to go and now when I sit in the bathroom with him and encourage him he usually goes. Our next step, getting him to tell us before he goes, and not after. We have been working on this for 6 months so far, and I am sure that it will take another 6 years for him to be perfect. Don't fret, and don't hesitate to use those darn pullups, espically with kids who have special needs. My son finally got to the point that he wanted to wear underware and not the pullup. He's a big boy now!
To address the question about a special needs child…
I didn't think we would ever get my son potty trained. He had 0 interest and I wasn't sure if he even truly understood what a potty was for! At the age of 3 he was still in diapers and happy to be. We tried to just watch for his cues as to when he would um, fill his diaper and try go get him to the bathroom. But honestly, he was not (and is not) a fan of change. What worked for us? Going cold turkey to undies. I know, crazy. There were a few accidents, but honestly not many. For another 6 months though we still put a diaper on him to poop. Boy, did he sucker us into that one. One day we were like, really?! WHAT are we doing!? A 15 minute battle to get him to SIT on the potty (we won) and he's never worn a diaper since. So for us, drastic change worked. "This is just the way it is now" My son doesn't like things outside his realm of normal, but sometimes whats normal changes. I think for him (and us) that change needs to just happen and allow time for it to become normal. Did that make sense? HTH!
On my oldest son's third birthday, we had a chat, and I told him "in a week, we'll start wearing big boy unders." A week later, we "started." Every 10 minutes I asked, do you have to go? A: no. 10 minutes later, I was changing him out of wet drawers. Finally, by noon, I told him, I'll help you pack your suitcase full of diapers when you go off to college. YOU let ME know! 6 months later, he came to me with a puzzle he wanted to work, and I pointed out where it said, "For 5 years old" or in big boy underwear. the next morning, he decided that was the day, he got his puzzle, and he never wore diapers or had an accident again, either daytime or in the night. His younger brother decided at 2.5 yrs that anything his brother could do, he definitely wanted for himself, so we never "trained" him either. Seriously stress free to let them make the decision!!!
Oh yea, my mom-in-law, who never changed older son's diaper, kept telling me "you know he's a smart boy; my second son was potty trained at nine months and your son is 2 and a half!" – I finally said, "that's terrific, would you like to stay with my oldest and train him? I'm away at work all day and can't sit him on the toilet." I never heard another peep after that, LOL.
My son also has autism, and the if/then statements would not work for him either. He is 5 years old, and we are just now getting him potty trained!
What finally worked for him were a few things. He loves trains, I mean REALLY loves trains. So we made a paper train and then put all of the steps that he needs to do to be able to go potty on the train, covered it in clear contact paper, and hung it eye level next to the toilet. I went over all of the steps with him a LOT to make him comfortable with the words.
The next thing we did was purchase a squirt bottle. Then we made regular trips to the bathroom, followed the whole visual schedule, but when he got to "pee standing up", he would squirt the bottle into the toilet. That lasted for about two and a half weeks until the day he 'accidentally' went in the potty. That was the start of him understanding what he needed to do.
It still took another two weeks before he started to go in there specifically to go to the bathroom, but now he is going independently and using it – following the schedule.
Now #2 is something we are still working on. He searches the house high and low for a pull-up to go in. So, we started trying having him sit on the potty with the pull-up on. We haven't been successful yet, but we're still working on it. We have special toys and books that he can use ONLY in the bathroom, just for sitting purposes.
We do have two separate schedules that show 'peeing' and 'pooping', to help clarify the steps – and also because the steps for 'poop' have to include toilet paper and wiping, which he obviously doesn't need to do when peeing.
I hope that helps you…this was a huge source of stress for us to have him become potty trained! He's doing so great now – and it didn't take as much time as I thought it would. I just had to have the visual schedule in place, and then take the time to practice it! :-)
No pull-ups (except when sleeping). Both times I finally just got rid of ALL diapers. Once I did that it was fairly smoothe sailing.
The kindest thing you can do for yourself when toilet training is wait until your child is emotionally and physically ready. If your child is holding on to wees for between 1-2 hours then start to introduce toileting concepts. Get the family to loudly announce theyre going to to the toilet to do … to start to get your child interested in the process. Count down to he day when there wontbe any moe nappies. Buy big boy/girl undies with their favourite character on them.
I am not a pull up fan. I think they're a clever marketing tool designed to make money. The only benefit in them is that if your child is ready for toilet training they can pull their own nappy down but most of the time why would they bother…those things are so absorbent, most kids just wet in them anyway. If you're really worried about accidents on your furniture – try putting underwear under the nappy for the first week or so to help your child get an idea of what it feels like when they have an accident. Otherwise I am a big fan of biting the bullet and going into big boy /girl undies for at least half the day from the start.
Make sure your toileting seat is appropriate for your child. Thats a big scary hole under you when you're little! Use an insert and always use a step stool so your child has somewhere to rest their feet and feel physically supported and comfortable. You cannot voluntarily release anything into the toilet if you're using all your muscle groups to hold your sitting position on a toilet.
If your child has a poo accident in their nappy or pants, stay calm. Move all changing activities to the toilet area. Poo accidents go from the nappy into the toilet and the child should flush it away and wash their hands as part of the routine. This helps reinforce that wee and poo go in the toilet.
Get your child to choose a reward for successes. Try a lucky dip. Couple tangible rewards with praise , which will make it easier to fade out the tangible reward later. Stickers, Stamps, a small piece of chocolate, one trading card …think about what is motivating for your child and only make it available for toileting time.
Sitting on the toilet can be boring for kids. Make your toilet inviting. One minute in kid time is about an hour of adult time. Put a box of small toys in the toilet for your child to play and fiddle with while waiting for something to happen. 3-5 minutes of sitting waiting is long enough. Those toys are only for toilet time.
Your library will have some great picture books for kids about toileting, or make your own personalised story with photos. (This is especially helpful for kids with special needs) You can also use a visual sequence of the toileting process for kids that need extra help understanding the process and expectations of toileting.
Above all be kind to yourself! This skill that might take a while for your child to learn is one they're going to have for the rest of their life and use every day , so the time spent helping them to learn it is small in comparison. (although there will be days where you feel like you've just cleaned up you 150th accident)
3 day potty training. it's an e-book. works like a charm and in 3 days. did it with both my very strong willed girls. i tell everyone about it. :)
I started with a potty chair in my daughter's room (she was 2.5 years old) after she asked to wear big girl undies. I got tired of dumping and washing the bowl, so I bought a padded seat with handles that goes on the big potty, and put a stepstool under her feet so they didn't dangle.
Waiting for her to tell me she needs to go still doesn't work, so I put her on the potty about every 2 hours, though I know she can hold it for longer. If she had accidents, I decreased the amount of time. I've heard setting a timer takes the pressure off Mama says it's time, to the bell says it's time.
For #2s, I take off her pants, so if she decides to climb down, she has one less obstacle. I have a set of plastic drawers that hold towels, so I move those nearby and put a few books on them. *Important* I also remove the TP. :>) I then leave her in peace to do her business.
I'd say it's gone quite smoothly, and I'd also say that I'm lucky, if there is such a thing.
I have two children with high functioning autism and know the struggles with potty training. If she is having issues, she could try to make a social story or use Pecs to show him how to go and what will happen. I think it would be best if she used a social story. If she needs help creating one she can email me at nmommy02(at)gmail(dot)com.
Good luck!
Here's the link to a Potty Training Post I did a while back, also was on Tip Junkie yesterday:
http://www.oneshetwoshe.com/2009/07/sparking-potty-training-interest.html
Hope that helps, I also have several others…under the category "potty training".
Mariel
http://www.oneshetwoshe.com
Naked time and lots of potty seats strategically placed around the house. It's what helped my daughter potty train at 9 months (yep MONTHS)…she liked being naked, and she has lots of places to sit when she needed to go. Don't get me wrong, there were a lot of times when it felt like we had a puppy in the house! Lots of little surprises!
Lots of juice and run around nekked. Thats what we do. Actually we didn't do lots of juice for the first 2, buts someone mentioned it. Great idea b/c teh more you have to drink the more often you have to pee instead of waiting around for it to happen. A friend also put a big blanket on her family room floor with a portable kids potty in the middle, gave her lots of juice and watched cartoons all day (so she would stay put). The sensation keeps coming and being nude, they are more aware of it.
I used Terri Crane's "potty party" from her book How to Potty Train Your Child in Just One Day and it worked great for my 2 1/2 year old daughter. Some of the things I like about the method are that you go straight to underwear, pull-ups are only for sleeping, your child teaches a doll/stuffed animal, and there is lots of positive reinforcement. We kept the treats up for a few days and the sticker chart for another 2 weeks or so.
My sister said there's a potty training boot camp you can send your child to. It was a couple hundred dollars. Totally worth it if they come back potty trained :-).
You're making me nervous because you've done this 4 times and you're asking for tips. I still have awhile to go before I start on #2. I guess we never really know what we're doing and every kid is so different. Good luck!
Don't know if anyone else has commented, but potty training special needs kids does present an extra challenge! I found what worked for us was a detailed picture sequence posted in the bathroom: first, picture/drawing of pulling down pants, second a picture of sitting on the toilet, etc., through washing hands, then the last picture was a hand receiving a treat (or whatever). You can remove that treat picture once the reinforcement is no longer needed.
For our son, *seeing* the process in sequence was what worked.
I saw a few questions about going #2 on the toilet. That was a big struggle for us. My daughter would hold it in and sometimes poo in her panties or wait until naptime so she could go in her pull-up. We ended up having her drink watered down prune juice (since she was getting constipated from holding it in) and bribing her with a big stuffed bear our friend won at the fair. Once she went three times in the toilet she got the bear. The bear was displayed out of her reach and we talked about it all the time. She really wanted the bear. It took a week or two, but she got the bear and we haven't had any problems since then.
I break it down into phases- when the child takes the initiative- starts telling me they need diaper changed or begin pulling off their diaper once it's soiled- I like to use the stepping stool and potty seat that fits on regular toilet- once they keep dry during the day- I then let them go without diaper during nap- once that is overcome- then I do bedtime. It just depends- very individual! good luck!
We had a child who was very delayed in language so the "if, then" did not work at all for us. We tried for 2 years on and off different things. Finally when she was 4 we tried something different. We had a 2 prize boxes that had drawings of a pottys with poop and pee in them. And no joke, she went poop and pee that same day!! Her mind works by seeing the action instead of telling her.
Good luck! I think potty training is like labor. I swear I can't remember what it was like when I was going through it and it hasn't even been that long. Like 2 years!
I think I pretty much let them wait until they wanted to be trained and then it seemed to go really fast. And stay close to a bathroom if we ever went anywhere.
XOXO
Jen
I do not have any tips or ideas, since my little one is not ready yet, but I love reading all of those ideas. Thanks to all of you guys!!!
I agree pull ups do not work. However they do serve a nice purpose on long trips for newbie potty graduates.
What has worked for me (twice thus far) is keeping them NAKED! Yes totally bum naked…well from the waist down. My experience has been that they don't like the feeling of wetness running down their leg and they recognize it as "not okay." Of course there is some clean up involved so you might want to stock up on some carpet cleaner, but it only takes a few times.
Oh and our reward was stickers. That worked so much better than candy or sweets. I sware by this way, the older kiddos were potty trained by 2 years 4 months.
Good Luck!
OK.. so we just mastered the potty training like 3 weeks ago, it was a long journey. I have a 3 1/2 boy who has special needs he is severly delayed due to a moderate/serve hearing loss that was just noticed at age 2, long story short he didnt understand alot and to get him to understand the concept of the potty was hard. We would go for a while get discourged and sometimes think that we would be 9yo still in diapers. Well we would read books, bought every type on potty on the market, ones that sang, ones with sport themes, walking around in just underwear…still nothing…so for the 20th time I gave up until I was at Target looking at DVD's and saw ELMO's potty, since he's not into Elmo I thought maybe it wouldnt caught his attention, well it did and he loved it, he went from not even trying at all to wanting to go like elmo. Elmo really breaks it down for them and one part that makes my son crack up. We have a dvd player in our SUV so I always
put it on for him…in a matter of a day or two he wanted to try the potty and just went so good after that. Walmart also has it for $9.00
I'd like to know how to get my 5 and 6 year old to not need diapers at night! I have tried not letting them drink for 3 hours before bed, I have tried waking them up every 2 hours to go, and tried just plain underwear, hoping the wetness would wake them up enough to stop themselves in the act.
So I now have 4 kids in diapers at night. Ridiculous.
Can anyone give me advice on that?
My kids are all teenagers now so its been a long time since I had to keep it together during this potty-training time (which can be a huge challenge). The one comforting thing I can add is that no child ever grows up not potty trained. They will eventually get it and you just have to hang on, be easy on your self, and have patience. It WILL happen, I promise!
Amy – this would make a great topic for your new BlogFrog community. Readers would really be able to connect, ask each other questions, and share their own blog posts and tweets. I found your blog through BlogFrog and wanted to stop by and say congrats on your new community!
Holly
Vicky said you are amazing. I know now why you are trying to figure out how to balance everything. I love you and good luck.
My nearly 4 year old was regressing really badly. After searching online for some ideas, we finally found something that worked for him. We printed out a potty chart and taped it to the bathroom wall at his eye level right next to our toilet. Everytime he pees he gets one sticker. He gets two stickers for pooping. Once he fills up an entire page (about 25 stickers) he gets a "surprise". This can range from a new pair of Buzz Lightyear shoes he was coveting (and needed!), to a trip to get ice cream, to a small toy. It's the ONLY thing we've found that works for him and he's had just a couple of accidents (real ones!) in the last couple of months. Good luck!!!
This is in responce to the mom's who is trying to potty train her son with autism. As an educator, this is how I would try to do it. I would add going to the bathroom to his daily schedule. Here is a good resource for pictures to make a visual schedule
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art45166.asp
So your schedule would have all the things you do during the day and going potty between several of those events. In the bathroom I would post this
http://www.setbc.org/pictureset/resources/bathroom/bathroom.pdf
or something like it so he can learn the steps of going potty. I would give him a treat when he goes and lots of cheering when he follows the routine.
Here's another good site for pictures:
http://www.setbc.org/pictureset/category.aspx?id=4
Good Luck!!
Now will someone come and train by almost 3 year old? I DREAD potty training!
I am sure I am going to repeat what others have said but consistency is key! I just recently potty trained my 2 1/2 year old daughter. I first used a timer and set it for every 30 minutes to go to the potty. She got very tired of doing that not to mention so did I. She was starting to refuse to go on the potty at all. It wasn't until I decided to let her tell me, even if it required accidents..YIKES…but once I let her take the lead, I was more relaxed. Just don't give up! And I agree with the no pull ups…although we use them at night just in case.
I am a lucky mother of a child with Autism and 2 active, stubborn girls. When my son was diagnosed with autism I thought I was destined to change diapers the rest of my life. However, that was not true. He was potty trained at 3y 8m. It only took 2 days. He had limited language skills at the time but still he got the concept. We followed a very strict program set up by Autism professionals. What do you know, it worked. We basically spent 2 days in the bathroom, drank a lot, had lots of presents and lots of salty food. I also had a lot of help. For those with special needs kids, hang in there and don't push it too soon. Make sure that you are ready first. Lucky me, my mom came and did the next one, and I am working with my youngest. She could do it, but I don't want to clean up after her right now.
When I potty trained my older kids each of them had something different work for the. My oldest need to go on a schedule. we would take him to the bathroom every half hour and then worked our way up to an hour. Dry periods (no accidents) would be rewarded until they stretched out longer and longer. For my second I realized after struggling with it for a while that I just had to put him in underwear and tell him "no accidents!" He was trained in two days by doing that. I couldn't tell him when to go – that ended up just being a power struggle. I am currently working with child number 3 and haven't found his niche yet. He want to learn but waits until after he goes to hop on the potty. My best advice is just try and work with your child's personality.
When my daughter turned 3 she wouldn't even sit on the pot. She woke up and I told her that we ran out of diapers and we weren't buying anymore. A little later she was dancing around trying to hold it instead of just getting on the pot. I have and old wooden sewing box that was my grandmas. It is just a little wooden box with legs. I filled it with bubbles, markers, ect. Things that normallywouldnt be allowed. I showed her the box and told her she could play with the stuff as long as she was on the pot. It worked great. She sat on the pot alot the first few days and never had an accident. We went crazy each time she actually went.
My son has autism and let me tell you potty training was not fun at all. Go out and get the cotton potty training type underware that has extra cotton so it won't leak so much. Don't use pull ups! We found a book that explained potty training and kept reading about it. Find the most basic book you can. I can't remember the name of the book but it was in simple plain talk. Rewards charts/treasure box don't work so don't even go there. Don't get angry if he misses just give a hug & move on. We got a potty seat that goes on the big toliet and a must find a step that when they sit on the potty their legs are at 90 degrees going down (hard to explain but picture upside down L). Find a toy that your son loves mine was books and trains. Let him hold it while going. Don't push the potty training or he may regress. My son was almost 5 years old and we had to go cold turkey due to school. We recorded his misses and mistakes each day. It went from 15 to 1 after a month. yes it does take time but just keep positive and don't get angry at the misses. Good luck!
Rewards, rewards, rewards! I student taught in a 1st grade Austistic class and had a little experience with toilet-training an Autistic student. Here is what we did.
1. We made a social story for him. This just consisted of a book with pictures of him and what he needed to do and what he got if he did it. For example, I do not pee pee in my diaper. I pee pee in the toilet. When I do this if makes my teacher happy. When I pee pee in the toilet I get to play with bubbles. Every time we took him to the bathroom we would read it to him.
2. Be consistent and don't give up. We would take him to the bathroom every 15 mintues and make him sit on the toilet for 10-15 minutes. He had things in there to entertain him such as cards and music. If he went to the bathroom in that 15 minutes we wouldn't take him for another 30 minutes.
3. If he uses the toilet make a HUGE deal about it! Pretty much throw a party. Give him a reward that is really motivating and don't give him that reward for ANYTHING else.
4. Reward him for dry pants every 5 minutes or so. We just used his favorite candy and gave him one and said Awesome! You have dry pants.
5. Stick to it.
I potty trained my daughter at 2 years old. I found that when she was naked (from the waist down) she wouldn't potty on the floor. She would do the potty dance. We had potties all over our house so we would run to the first one we found. Next to the potty I kept a basket of presents. (I had gone to the Dollar Store and bought a bunch of odds and ends and wrapped them up.) So when she went she got to open a present! She did great and it only took about a week. I did not put her in pull ups because I found she, like everyone else said, thought they were a diaper. I put her straight into big girl panties. She did have a few accidents but she found she didn't like to be wet. I hope this helps and good luck! :)
Alicia
One spring day, when my son was 1 1/2, we put out the little potty, rolled up the area rug, left him pantsless and every 5 minutes put him on the potty. He got an M&M every time he went. We also gave him straight apple juice (he usually gets watered down versions) so he would drink more. By the end of the day, he had gotten it. He still wears a diaper at night time, but he's been wearing underwear ever since. We also let him pick out his own undies to. He loved that. It was a long day, but well worth it.
I have beeen a child daycare provider for over 21 years so I have helped to potty train a LOT of children. All of the children we care for are from birth (literally……10 days old was my youngest yet) till they go to school. In all of those years, I have only had the pleasure of caring for one special needs child and he was a high functioning autistic boy as well. I don't remember doing anything differently with him as the others and he was very non-verbal. When we have one who we think is ready to start training, we will have a "buddy" (always so willing) have the learner go into the bathroom (along with myself or helper) with him when he goes so that they see how it is done. Then the learner gets the opportunity to TRY! (Side humor…..have a little guy right now who doesn't say he has to go potty, he says "I wanna try" every time he goes!) I will usually go in with them the next few times until I know that they are ok in there by themselves, leave them with a stack of reading material and tell them that I'll be right back to see if they are done. I leave them in privacy for a few minutes and then will check back and see if anything has happened yet. If they didn't go and still want to keep "trying", I leave them again. If they are done for that time, I tell them thanks for trying and that we will go again in a while. I always make a big deal of using special soap, flushing the toilet, and all the time talking about when they are really big and don't potty in their diapers anymore, but use the POTTY all the time, they will get to wear "big boy/girl" underpants like so and so. I have on occasion used 2 M&Ms as a reward for poops if they are having a hard time letting that go. After so many times, we just "run out" of them and forget to buy more and they normally forget about them, too. When they are sucessful, we make a HUGE deal of it with doing the "Potty Dance" and high 5's all around with the rest of the kids. I make sure to tell EVERYONE who comes through the door that day "Robbie" went poop or pee on the potty that day. All of the praise and positive reinforcement just makes them want to go more. Everyone loves to be congratulated! I did the same with my little guy who was autistic, and it worked for him. If my memory serves me correct, he was about 2 1/2 when he learned to go potty. I also have the advantage of having lots of little ones so they have to "take turns" so they get to be a part of that. When I think they need to go, I just say to them that it is their turn to go try. Hope this helps.
With my daughter when she had just turned 2: a week at home in easy to pull up and down elastic waisted pants/shorts and ugly panties. (she really wanted the Ariel panties and I told her only big girls get to wear the pretty princess ones). And m&ms! My parents bought her special, personalized ones and I put them in a jar on the bathroom counter. Every time she sat on the potty she got one, if she peed she got 2, if she pooped then she got 5. Only for this week though, after she was trained she would only get 1 or 2 at a time. After that week she was totally 24 hour trained and we bagged up all the baby diapers and took them to the baby at church. And we went to the store and she got to get her Ariel panties that she wanted. A potty seat on the big toilet worked, she did not like the little kid sized training potty.
My friend just recently potty trained her special needs daughter who just turned 8 this past December. And how she did it was schedule train her. Everyday at the exact same times she would go put her on the potty. And her daughter learned to go when it was 'time'. She does every once in a while tell you if she has to go but it is usually on the schedule.
A couple more!
Babies R Us has these portable fold up potty seats that work great for when on the go! Just stick it in your purse or bag and you have it for when they have to go when you are out.
When training my daughter, every 30 minutes I put her on the potty for the first couple of days until she would come up and tell me she had to go or she would just go. If she was doing something fun then oh well! Have to go potty. If a movie was on that she was watching then oh well have to go potty. Did not pause the movie or anything. Just got up and went to the potty. She learned by day 3 the feeling and urge.
We tried everything with my son. I mean EVERYTHING! Charts, rewards, cheerios in the toilet, candy. You name it, we tried it. I had to get creative. One day I was in the pantry looking for a spice for dinner when I came across the best potty training product I have ever encountered! FOOD COLORING! It works wonders! I put a couple of drops of red (or you can use blue) food coloring in the toilet, just enough to tint the water. When my son went potty, it made the water turn orange (or green). My son thought it was magic. It made him WANT to use the toilet. I only had to do this for a few days too. I told him we were all out, but that I was proud that he was going potty like a big boy. He never looked back.
Sorry to comment so late, I tried to read all 90 comments to see if anyone suggested this book but I didn't see it.I have found that this well researched book is GREAT! If you know Psychology this covers many of the aspects(Teaching others, rewards, etc) I have had friends who have also used it and was great for them.
It also addresses the special needs children and adults. here is a link that explains the concepts
"Toilet Training in Less than a Day"
http://www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/A-Potty-Training-In-One-Day4.html
My best tip is to wait until your kid is ready.
While you're waiting, start keeping a log (you'll need a few days worth so you can recognise patterns) of your child's… umm… "diaper activity". This means you check for dryness Every Twenty minutes. Keep track in the log if the diaper is dry, wet, messy. After a few days you will start to see patterns, then you can use the times that are most consistent as times to encourage your child to try. Once they do it a few times, with success, it usually encourages them to try harder.
My child had to "go" every day during dinner so we would suggest she go try every day during dinner and before long she was doing it on her own.
After they get the hang of it, it usually doesn't take too long for the rest to fall into place.
One last tip- remember that every child is different. My son was very motivated by prizes (a sticker or smartie, etc) but my daughter was motivated by parties (basically we would ALL cheer for her while jumping up and down and blowing on noise makers).
Oh, one more thing, we didn't love the Pullups either. They're nice for times when you can't afford an "accident", like sleeping over at Gramma's house, or playing outside in the wintertime, but they're too absorbent and the child won't be as motivated to make an effort. We found with both kids that taking away the Pullups and letting them have a few "real" accidents was very motivating. They didn't like being soaked from the waist down! But with Pullups they didn't notice that they were wet.
My youngest is now 12 (he was a late in life gift), and we used this brilliant method from a book called HOW TO TOILET TRAIN YOUR CHILD IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS. I can't remember who wrote it, but it was brilliant and it was SO easy. It took about 4 hours and my son was toilet trained.
Night times were managed with pull-ups because he was such a heavy heavy sleeper. His brain just did not get the message from his bladder that it needed emptying.
I remember being really fed up one day (he was day toilet trained at 2 1/2 but still wearing nigttime pull ups at 4). In desperation I asked him: when do you think you'll be dry at night? He took awhile to consider this and then said: I think probably when I'm nearly six.
A younger Mum had said to me, just go with it and know that there is an end in sight. So, I took her advice and thought, ok, I can do night time pull ups until he's nearly six ….. well, wouldn't you know it: 3 months shy of his sixth birthday, he stopped using pull ups over night.
But – try that book! I know it's still available because my daughter had bought a copy to train her three little girls the same way.